Habits Part 1:
Have you ever asked yourself, “who am I?” If so, when was the last time? If never, why not?
As House1 wraps up our initial part of the Storehouse Mastermind curriculum, we have gotten deep into our habits, both those we have and the ones we want to create. An amazing thing about this Mastermind is despite the curriculum being similar for each house, the different and varied perspectives that each man brings to each of the Houses creates an environment of continuous growth. I learn something new EVERY time we meet, even if the questions are the same (which rarely happens because the conversations always go in different directions). One of my biggest takeaways from this iteration of our habit focus is the fact that until we IDENTIFY with who we want to become, there is no true power to draw from to achieve our goals and change our habits.
Am I suggesting setting goals is bad? Absolutely not. But if we are honest with ourselves, how many of the goals we set, and say are important, are we achieving? Have you lost that fat or gained that muscle you’ve set as a goal for years? Are you spending more time with your loved ones as you resolved to do on 1/1/2022, or is work still your priority (be honest, if work is getting the most – and your best – time, it is the priority)? Are you reading the books you set out to read, writing the books you determined you’d write, giving generously, going to church, coaching sports, etc…?
Look at the goals you wrote down and spend some time assessing their impact on your life. If you didn’t write them, why were they not important enough to capture? Ask yourself if you truly see achieving the goals you set. Are they goals that sound good and appeal but are only truly achievable by someone else? Or do your goals inform the type of person you believe yourself to be?
These are just questions, not judgements. It is critical to our own growth to spend time in self-assessment, recognizing the person we want to become, and the person we tell ourselves we are…our IDENTITY. If there is a significant gap between these two, we must determine what it is, why it’s there, and what we can do about it. Otherwise, we will never truly change, and our habits will remain the same.
So, I ask again, who are you? What is truly important to you? What does the life you want look like? And most importantly, do you IDENTIFY with the person you envision? If not, you may be shooting yourself in the foot.
One of my real-life examples: I have wanted to lose weight for years. I’ve written it as a goal in several resolution notebooks. I go to the gym and workout regularly. But I don’t see a significant change.
Why?
Through the conversations with my Kinetic Brothers, I realized the story I tell myself, my IDENTITY, is that I am overweight and don’t have the discipline to change. WOW! I am sabotaging my effort because I do not actually relate with the person I envision and will therefore never achieve that goal…until I chose to identify with, and as, that man.
Where else am I outwardly saying I want to achieve something, and even declaring it as a goal, yet telling myself it will never happen? Until we identify those areas, and change the narrative, our goals will continue to be empty lists of disappointment.
This realization has been life changing for me. I am more aware of and intentional with the story I am telling myself, of the man I IDENTIFY as, and the path I am choosing to take.
It all starts with asking “who am I.” Only then can you address who you want to become.
Written by David Gutierrez
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